I've made some decisions

I met with a surgeon today from Surgical Group of Orlando, affiliated with MD Anderson/ORMC. His name was Dr. Jeff Smith, and I had a very good feeling. I was greeted by a young medical student, very young. His nicely groomed beard was a needed attribute that helped him to look older than 21 or 22! He was very green, yet very kind and genuine. He was sent in to get my brief medical background and review the timeline of my diagnosis. He was trying so hard, and he was doing a great job. I was in good spirits throughout. His final question was if I was leaning toward a certain surgical choice...I shared, as with most women with this diagnosis, all I cared about was staying alive, but that my frame of reference was that my own mother had died when I was a young girl so staying alive for the next 8 years was my only priority and that I could care less about my hair, boobs, etc. As I recounted this, I shared that this was when I get really emotional, and indeed, I did begin to get teary-eyed. His own eyes got red and he turned away - although I already had a good feeling about him, this endeared me to him.

Anyway, he left and within a few minutes he was back in with the doctor. Dr. Smith also had a genuine, yet incredibly competent air about him. He was a good listener, but he only smiled at my jokes, not out right laughed (which was his only drawback). He was able to answer my questions and able to explain things in a non-condescending manner. It's difficult to put into words why I made an immediate decision, but I did - I decided to stick with him and begin making preparations for a double mastectomy.

Some of you may wonder why I chose this since my left breast appears to be fine, and the reason is very clear in my mind - I want to be able to be as worry-free as I can. I want him to get out all the cancer the 1st time, and I want to remove any chances of it creeping up in the left breast 2, 5, 10 years down the road. Now that doesn't mean I'll never have to worry about cancer again, but it does mean I won't have to worry about any lingering cancer cells, etc, in my breasts. Dr. Smith was fine with this choice.

From this point, his nurse - who I love already - was called in and I was examined. After that, I was asked to come back on Tuesday to try and have my lymph nodes ultra-sounded (don't think that's a word, but I'm using it anyway) and possibly biopsied. At that time they will have set up appointments for me with an oncologist and a plastic surgeon. (which is a huge relief because this appt. making business sucks!!) I'm getting the impression that the pre-surgery tests will be extensive, but I also gather he has a sense of urgency in wanting to get surgery done - not because of something specific he has said, it's just a feeling - which I'm in a good place to move into action. I needed these couple weeks to wrap my head around everything, but I'm ready now!

I'm looking forward to an appt. tomorrow with a plastic surgeon. I think I will get some questions answered, but additionally, my immature self is coming out, so I'm intrigued to possibly see boob choices, etc. My girlfriend, Kyle, is coming with me and I hope I don't get the giggles.

I'll keep you updated!

in peace & love