"The girls," aka my breasts, are gone!

Thought I'd do a quick update - I'm home from hospital, less 2 breasts. I'm feeling good.

The day before yesterday, I went into the hospital early for the lymphnode scans that would be used in the surgery. Then hung out for a long while until I was called back to pre-op around 1:00. This is the point when I really got teary and stressed out. Although, as I mentioned I would, I reassured myself that I would indeed wake up from surgery by asking everyone I saw that even resembled medical staff, I was still very stressed out. I wasn't allowed to have any family or friends with me at this point, so I was pretty sad. But as soon as I got my IV (which I HATE getting) I was given demerol, and wow did I relax! Then Arthur, Kyle and Judy all got to come back and give me a kiss. Skylar and Emma were too young to come back there at that point. I barely remember that part, and before I knew I was being woken up!!

I did wake up in pain, but before I could blink an eye, it was gone. Then all I wanted was Arthur. I was feeling very "mushy" and lovey and "wimpy" but seeing him cured all my ills!

Judy also came to give me and hug and a kiss. I was then taken up to my room on the 9th floor - the surgical oncology unit - followed by a trail of family and friends, like a circus train - Arthur, Skylar, Emma, Judy, Kyle, Zoe, and Rhissa. The nurses were cracking up!

I got moved to a nice, squishy, comfy bed with cotton sheets! And I was able to change out of my paper & velcro surgical gown into a comfy cotton gown. Everyone hung out with me for a little bit. I was so thirsty and hungry so a big jug of water and applesauce hit the spot. Seriously, that applesauce was so incredibly yummy you would have thought it was homemade the way I was carrying on about it! It was at this point that they told me Dr. Smith had visited them in the waiting room and told them there was no lymphnode involvement FANTASTIC news!! Now they will still do all the pathology on all the breast tissue and the 2 sentinel nodes he removed (1 from each side), but it looks really good!

WARNING: TMI just ahead - As for my chest I truly was expecting Frankenstein, but it's really not near that bad!! Dr. Smith did a skin-sparring procedure so that most of my breast skin is left, but it's kind of pushed off to each side and held with tape. The purpose of this is so when Dr. Lee reconstructs next week, all my own skin can be used. As for incision, I can't see it, but the little bandages are pretty small and were done in a circle shape around each nipple and that's it!! Unbelievable. Now I don't know it that will change for reconstruction, but the 2 surgeons consulted ahead of time, so hopefully this was the plan for both surgerys! Also off to each side is a turkey baster looking thing attached to my former breasts by a tube. That is the drain so that blood, lymph fluid, etc can drain out via the suction created in each "bulb." So those have to be emptied every few hours or so. There is also attached to each side the tiniest tube filled with some sort of local pain med/anesthetic that is being pumped directly to the former breast areas. It is awesome - I don't feel groggy or out of it.

So all my visitors last night were able to see all this if they wanted to. Skylar and Emma were like "ah, no thanks" but I think everyone else was interested. They could have been blowing sunshine, but they all said it looked pretty good. I think it looks great! Dr. Smith is a genius!

Everyone then said good night and I got more kisses and hugs! At this point I felt pretty sleepy physically, but I was pretty alert and my throat hurt from the tube they stuff down there during surgery. The nurse gave me percocet for my throat, but it really didn't help much, but it did put me to sleep. Everything else went well throughout the night. I had my "mix tape" (mini ipod) that Arthur made specially for me that was/is outstanding! He must really know me! Judy even had a Murphy in which to sleep. I was bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning at 5:15 am!! I was even admiring all my soft saved breast skin and I was happy!

I'll continue to keep you updated - this coming week I'll have post-op with Dr. Smith and pre-op with Dr. Lee, then will be back in the hospital on Friday morning!

Thank you for all your prayers, good thoughts, positive energy that were sent my way! I am feeling strong and positive, and lots of that comes from all of you! So thank you, again!

in peace and love,

monique