OK, so Thursday night I am shaving, etc to prep for my short hospital stay. I notice one of the teeny, tiny tubes from my medicine ball has come loose from my breast. As I am following it along it's route to the ball, I notice the 2 bigger tubes are clamped shut. I'm thinking "what the hell?" So I recheck everything including the weight of the ball which does not seem to have changed since day one. Then I think about the fact that I never saw anyone do anything to it or show me anything about it. So, I go to sleep, wake at the lovely hour of 4 a.m. feeling pretty relaxed about the surgery and unbelieving about the medicine ball! So as we head to the hospital, Arthur, Judy, and I are talking it out and laughing -"there's no way it could have been clamped the whole time" - or "maybe I'm part of a study regarding the effectiveness of placebos" - or "maybe the power of suggestion is stronger than real pain" - or "we want that med. ball taken off our bill" - etc. etc. I mean the entire 8 days, I maybe took 4 percocet because I was in so little pain!! I went on and on about how great the medicine ball was, "I felt no pain" "this thing is great" "isn't this amazing?" just on and on!! What a dumbass I am?!! :)
Anyway, the pre-op nurse confirmed that it was indeed clamped shut! And since I didn't do anything to it, I must have come home from the hospital with it clamped shut!!
Now, some of you may have noticed it and harassed me endlessly, some of you may have noticed it and pointed to it politely, some of you may have noticed it but decided for the sake of decorum you would not mention it, and finally, some of you really may not have noticed the tiny flap of skin hanging just inside my right nostril for the last 9 months or so. This tiny flap of skin, for lack of a better word, looked like a small booger. It drove me crazy, but the one and only time I tried to do anything about it, I used nail clippers and it hurt like the dickens not to mention it bled like a stuck pig!! Anyway, a couple of close girlfriends asked me to ask my plastic surgeon, Dr. Lee, if, while I was under if he would cauterize that thing right off!! So as my family and friends stood by, I proceeded to ask him while they all cracked up laughing! But as he got a close up look at it, he said "sure!" He came back later with his sharpies for what he called "mapquest time" and drew all over my empty little breast balloons, my chest, my underarms, then, to my embarrassment, he used a light blue sharpie on my cheek and drew an arrow to my nose and wrote "yes" to help him remember! The nurse was cracking up when she came back! But, by god, it's gone!! No more fake booger in my nose, so if I catch you sneaking a peek, I'll understand! ;)
I wasn't able to write too much when I got home from surgery, as I was totally exhausted. But I want to say, again, how wonderful the entire staff was thoughout my surgical experience on Friday. Truly, I was relaxed and at ease, I was able to talk and ask a lot of questions (difficult to imagine, right??) in pre-op and in recovery. Until then all was great, but as they moved me to the area from where I was to be discharged, the tech was somewhat insensitive to me and the condition I was in. She was polite and all, but really just clueless about how I felt. I was in a lot of pain and was very "cloudy." Like she walked way too fast, my legs were so shakey. Then after a very quick rundown of what they had to drink, (I was processing too slowly but picked ginger ale)she brought it to me, but proceeded to put it on a table out of my reach. I was just feeling whimpy and like I wasn't capable of completing the tasks she wanted me to do. Finally, I asked her to get Arthur. When he, Judy, and Chris came back there I was crying and crying! I must have looked pitiful - that is certainly how I felt!!
Close up pictures of my newly cleaned nose to be sent via email cheered me right up, but I was in a tremendous amount of pain. If only I had my fake medicine ball!!
I thought of you several times Monday. I figured it was hard for you to be home knowing others were back at school. I hoped that spending a little extra time with the girls would have some positive aspect for you. Anyway, I can tell you that probably all you missed was sitting for a full day listening to "Blah, blah, blah....."
ReplyDeleteIs the medicine ball turned on now? That is pretty classic Monique that you felt so good thinking it was the medicine ball - which wasn't working at all.